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Abbott is new Renewables Minister

He really means it this time.

He really means it this time.

April 1 – The Turnbull Government has appointed former Prime Minister Tony Abbott to the specially created portfolio of Renewables Minister as it seeks voter support in the run up to the expected election.

Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull, who ousted Abbott in a controversial coup last year, said his predecessor’s time “in the political wilderness” had led to a “remarkable epiphany” and a radical change in Abbott’s thinking.

“He went into the political desert and had a good hard look at himself and he has come back a different man,” said Turnbull.

“He now loves wind farms and having lived through the bizarre weather conditions in Sydney this year is now a firm advocate of climate change.”

In his first press conference in his new role, Abbott said he was determined to rid Australia of the “scourge of coal” and wanted to “plant wind farms as a gardener would plant flowers.”

“I had a really hard look at things and understood I was completely wrong the whole time,” said Abbott.

“In fact, I’m even thinking long and hard about Catholicism, and my next announcement will be to renounce my religious faith and become a militant atheist.”

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